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#autism

29 posts28 participants4 posts today
Arthur :RainbowInfinity:

When I meet people, I tend to like the person quickly - especially if they are physically likeable, have similar interests, and are easy to communicate with. This happens especially when dating women. But I consider this a problem, as 99% of the time I only disappoint myself, hurt myself, and often this behavior only drives the women away.

Even though I am aware of this behavior, I can't control it very much, so it happens over and over and over again. This is not a bad trait, as I am only enjoying the person in question. Could it be related to my autism? Do other autistic people have similar experiences?

#ActuallyAutistic#Autistic#Autism
JulieR

Another strange observation since I switched to Linux. While my battery no longer runs out fast, my touchpad and touchpad mouse buttons are less sensitive, often requiring me to push them twice (the second time with more force).

This drives me absolutely batty. It does something particularly aggravating to my #autism tactile needs. I find that I have to clench and push at my fingers to "reset." Sometimes even clenching the muscles in my arms to "fix" it. Weird, right?

*
Daniel Reeders

Autistic and other neurodivergent friends, I want to share something I have found really helpful for dealing with overwhelm.

Overwhelm is a state of 'cannot' that can come on suddenly, intensely, and even abruptly, and if you've been masking for some time (your whole life?) it can be a little traumatising to hit the wall like that.

Tara Brach is a clinical psychologist specialising in trauma therapy and a widely recognised and celebrated teacher in the Mahasi (Insight Meditation) tradition of Buddhism, the lineage I practice within.

She developed the RAIN meditation which I am offering as one way of recognising when you are in overwhelm and responding in a self-compassionate way.

RAIN stands for:

1. RECOGNISE what is happening;
2. ALLOW the experience to be there, just as it is;
3. INVESTIGATE with interest and care;
4. NURTURE with self-compassion.

Tara offers a bunch of meditations that step at different paces through the four steps of RAIN on her website:

tarabrach.com/rain/

I really love her teachings — they are enormously warm, wise, and often conveyed with a dorky sense of humour. She knows what she's talking about but she's not wedded to seeming expert.

Quick note about the N here:

In Tara's original formulation the 'N' stood for 'non-attachment,' which is a technical Buddhist term, and while I accept Tara's choice to rephrase it in the language of self-help, I think the original expresses a useful insight.

Overwhelm is something that is happening, not the truth of myself. Right now I cannot, but this has arisen, and it will be here for a while, and then it will subside again, and I will be able to can.

The reminder that all things are impermanent, the encouragement against grasping and attaching to experience in the moment as the truth of the self, can be very reassuring when the cannot feels so, well, overwhelming.

Also, maybe the sense of 'cannot' does express something we might want to take forward in our future sense of self — we may have been trying to mask (perform the way we perceive normies as performing their non-divergent selves), and this may not be sustainable, this may demand too much of us, and it might be more compassionate to look at ways of being our divergent selves in our participation in social and public life.

Tara BrachResources ~ RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, NurtureThe acronym RAIN is an easy-to-remember tool for practicing mindfulness & compassion using four steps: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture.
#autism#meditation#adhd
Continued thread
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Jason Parker (he/they)

I tried to get diagnosed over 10 years ago. The psychiatrist brushed me off and told me that I don't have #autism (then-Aspergers) because I experience empathy.

1) That's not how autism works.
2) His example question wasn't even about empathy. ("How do you think your child would feel if ...?"). I am fully aware of how people are supposed to feel in various circumstances - that's nothing more than a knowledge check.

*
Jason Parker (he/they)

I'm honestly surprised that it took until after 40 for somebody to tell me "yeah, you probably have #autism".

For people that know me: how obvious was it that something was abnormal* about me?

(* There's surely another word to be used here, I just don't know it.)

Autistrain

French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu once said "Our tastes are our disgust." There is a reaction between what we like and dislike. It's not as easy as we think and classes play a role. Riches buy expensive cars because of the disgust of the poor. It's over simplified, but it gives you an example.

Your class plays a role in what you're buying and what you like. I generally write here about neurodiversity, autism... This is still the case here with my citation of Pierre Bourdieu. In fact, this is very autistic. We can even say it's neurodivergent and so have to do with neuronormativity.

I began my journey with the medical model like most of us. It's everywhere when you search the internet. You need to dig deeper to find the social model. Read after reading, I find that autism isn't medical. It's social, and has to do with society. Our behavior is driven by society and not autism. We are different from what implies thinking, communicating, and learning differently. But, society is normative. It doesn't allow the differences. It's all about homogeneity.

In these circumstances, autistics behaves untypically. It triggers masking after traumas. It triggers internalized ableism to fit in, to be part of this society.

Back to Bourdieu's citation, the society has an influence on our taste, on what we like. If someone like an expensive item is by disgust of a class, a group of people. In our society, the lower classes are stigmatized, they are seen as of a lower value, as unintelligent. People seen as gross. All of this is wrong. It should not be the case. This has consequences. We can look at how lowering taxes for billionaires is popular even if we know that they should pay more taxes. The disgus of some built the taste of others.

Neurodivergents are stigmatized as well as the poorer. They are not seen as trustworthy in research. They are seen as second class citizens. Neurotypical knows better than neurodivergent. But, they don't live it.

We can see neurodivergent as a class. They are the victims of the same dynamics about tastes and disgust. The disgust of the non-normative creates the taste for the normativity. This influences why some parents will praise conversion therapies.

But, it goes further. It implies neurodivergents directly. Many of us have/had internalized ableism. Neurodivergent masks to fit in. These are reactions to what we see as disgusting. As the rich buy an expensive car in reaction to the lower class, neurodivergent will mask in reaction to what society doesn't like. Internalized ableism is what we like in reaction to what we disgus, our natural us.

We, as neurodivergents, have to liberate ourselves of the neuronormativity. We have to embrace our natural taste to stop hating ourselves. We see ourselves as so disgusting that our tastes are not our anymore.

#autism #neurodiversity #ableism #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic

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