Lingolol

SlashlineGo "nuts" or go home<a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/newyorker" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#newyorker</a>

LaffGaffI’m so embarrassed about accidentally locking myself in a cabinet at the museum.I made a real exhibition of myself.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffOne of the problems with making a salad is bland lettuce.It’s a problem that needs addressing.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffSad to see the local sauna business has closed.It just ran out of steam.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffI quit my job as a butler in a mansion.I didn’t like being spoken to in that manor.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

Nick MathewsonNeedlessly convoluted tom-swiftie joke; religious irreverence.

LaffGaffHow do you spot a secret agent?Give him measles.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffYou can’t beat an egg based dessert.Am I right, or a meringue?<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

Coach Pāṇini ®SATIRE Team Six: elite comedy operatives who neutralize serious situations with devastating wit. Motto: “No joke left behind.” MO: Deploying precision puns and executing flawless roast maneuvers.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#humor</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#comedy</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/wit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#wit</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

Morpheus Being<a href="https://aus.social/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Jokes</a> <a href="https://aus.social/tags/Humour" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Humour</a> <a href="https://aus.social/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Humor</a>A lost dog wanders into the jungle. A lion spots him from a distance and thinks, “Huh… never seen one of these before. Looks edible.The lion starts charging. The dog freaks out until he notices some bones nearby. Thinking fast, he blurts out: “Mmm… that was some tasty lion meat!”The lion slams the brakes: “Wait… this little dude eats lions?! Nope, I’m out.”But high up in a tree, a monkey saw the whole thing. He scampers over to the lion and spills the truth, hoping to score points. The lion growls: “Hop on my back. We’ll get him together.”They storm back toward the dog. The dog sees them coming, panics harder… then yells: “Where the hell is that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!

נאריש זשלאָב מענטשI posted another write-up about this book just a day or two ago."Here’s one. A <a href="https://babka.social/tags/Jewish" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Jewish</a> gentleman crossing a busy road is hit by a car. As he is lifted onto the stretcher, the ambulance man asks, “Are you comfortable?” He shrugs, winces and replies, “I make a living.” If that tickles your fancy for a melafefon, you should unscrew the lid and dip in.What’s special about these <a href="https://babka.social/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a>? The <a href="https://babka.social/tags/author" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#author</a> Michel Wieviorka, of Polish-Jewish descent, sets down three strictures: they may only be created by <a href="https://babka.social/tags/Jews" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Jews</a>; only a <a href="https://babka.social/tags/Jew" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Jew</a> may tell them; the jokes must not be <a href="https://babka.social/tags/antiSemitic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#antiSemitic</a> (he drops the second of these early on in the <a href="https://babka.social/tags/book" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#book</a>). The subject matter typically includes marriage, the materfamilias, money, death and traditional livelihoods — e.g. tailoring, the synagogue, the deli."<a href="https://thecritic.co.uk/jewish-humour/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank">https://thecritic.co.uk/jewish-humour/</a>

LaffGaffDid you know that fish are a great source of omega 3, which is great for helping the brain function?Just some food for thought.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffMy local farmer has a sign saying Do Not Touch The Fence.Not sure why, I just can’t put my finger on it.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

SlashlineI am the eggman They are the eggmen I am the walrus <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/newyorker" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#newyorker</a>

LaffGaffI didn’t realize I’d be so obsessed with a pirate if I ever met one, but as soon as we shook hands I was hooked.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffAccidentally bumped into a lady’s canoe today. She chased me for miles, yelling and screaming.Real case of rowed rage.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffI accidentally spilled a teapot on a friend’s face while he was carrying a plate of burgers.I guess brewed tea is in the eye of the beef holder.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

LaffGaffMy friend is going to the lexicographers’ reunion.I’ve asked them to put a word in for me.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

CustardFist’𝗣𝗢𝗢𝗥 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗟’ 🐿<a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/webcomic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#webcomic</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/webcomics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#webcomics</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/comic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#comic</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/comics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#comics</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/joke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#joke</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/comicstrip" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#comicstrip</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/comicstrips" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#comicstrips</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/custardfist" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#custardfist</a>

LaffGaffI saw a weight-lifting bison.He was a buff fellow.<a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#funny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jokes</a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#dadjokes</a>

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