Melodramatic love (just in case.)
Mrs Miasma: "I'm going outside to pull weeds for an hour."
Me: "Okay, I promise to keep the carrion eaters away from your carcass and to keep the Wyoming Summer sun from bleaching your bones if the experience kills you."
Mrs Miasma: "I feel like you wanted to say that in our wedding vows, didn't you?"
Time and circumstance.
Don't you just hate it when you can't alter either?
A Holiday is where you find it.
We live next to a golf course. I offer up the following anecdotal data to anyone with interest.
On this Mother's Day morning, we've watched about 5 to 7 parties of four golfers move along the course. We've seen exactly zero women in those parties.
I don't think this is a flattering testimonial for men no matter which way you look at it. 
Awkwardly cool.
That beige leisure suit my mom made me wear to all those junior high school events?
The jokes on you my former middle-school colleagues. You thought I was an uncool nerd, but I was actually repping the universe, bitches.
"Cosmic latte is a name assigned in 2002 to the average color of the universe (derived from a sampling of the electromagnetic radiation from 200,000 galaxies)"
In Care Of Mental Health.
Me: "I'm calling because you sent me a letter telling me you don't have my new address."
Former Employer: "What is your new address?"
Me: "It's the address you put on the letter you just mailed to me, informing me that you don't have my new address, which I received at my new address."
Former Employer: "I don't understand what you just said."
Me: "Neither do I."
Oh joy. Looks like I've hit another milestone in getting older...
Have had arthritis slowly developing over the last few years.
A cold front is moving through my area today.
And some of my knuckles hurt.
Meanwhile, at the gym this morning.
Mrs. Miasma: "There's a guy staring at us through the window."
Me: "I'm sure there's a reason...(looking up from my book) GAH!!!!
P.S. The reason: He wanted in through the side door.
I'm going to need a patsy.
I wore my "I'm just here to establish an alibi" t-shirt to the gym this morning and the ladies behind the front desk said they're going to tell the police they don't know me and that I was never there.
A bit rude and preemptive I think. Especially since I'm current on my dues.
Thank You, I'll be here all week.
Mrs. Miasma loves puns. Which is why when I was handing her a cup for her morning tea and bumped it against the counter, she said "careful!" and I responded "that was counter-intuitive."
I can sense your groans.
@DrFerrous Yeah, I know. For me, this is the first year that the slowly developing arthritis has been noticeable and causing minor discomfort.
Youth is wasted on the young.
If "I Love Lucy" was real and set in 2025, how soon would Ricky Ricardo get deported?
No wonder there were pirates.
I'm trying to remember which bar I wandered into that left me addled and confused enough to wake press-ganged, and serving aboard the dumbest of timelines.
Woke up this morning with this song playing in my head #spring? #oldpeopleofmastodon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKcpodt0YCU
It's not even Senior Discount Thursday.
Guess who we saw at the grocery store this morning?
Everybody, that's who.
This is Lumpy.
Lumpy the YMCA basketball has lumps and swells on it's surface. As a result, Lumpy experiences IBEs or inconsistent bouncing events.
I pick Lumpy to dribble and shoot baskets because I believe my ability to handle Lumpy's sometimes erratic bounces is a shamefully simplistic metaphor for life.
This morning Lumpy experienced an IBE and transferred all of it's energy into my nuts and now I don't care about metaphors anymore.
Lesson learned, Lumpy.
Viewing algorithms.
Admittedly, I've always been on the fringe of their viewership models but recently I seem to have nosedived completely out of the demographic altogether.
Netflix: "What do you want to watch?"
Me: "Got any shows about a Danish software developer stuck in Florida restoring a hurricane damaged catamaran using only his wits and a scrum board?"
Netflix: "Uhm... No."
Me: "Okay - back to Youtube then."
#ModernEntertainment
#PlumbLevel
#OldPeopleOfMastodon
#SailLife
I've had most of what I needed to make a happy and fulfilling life for myself.
Kind of a pity that it took me into my sixties to realize it.
If you're lucky, there will come a time in your life when you spend more time getting ready for bed than you spend getting ready to for an evening out on the town.
We were talking yesterday about encyclopedias, and it brought to mind the "See also:" section, which was the pre-internet predecessor to the hyperlink.
I'd look up something in the encyclopedia, and read the article. At the end there would be a short section starting "See also:", listing (possibly) related subjects.
I'd then look up one of those subjects, read the article, and at the end find something interesting in the "See also:" section and repeat the process.
I could spend a whole day doing this, at the end I would have learned a lot of fascinating things about a fairly random set of subjects.
At no time during this process was I begged for a donation. No one asked me to create an account or enter my personal data, and there were no ads, pop-up or otherwise.
Not everything is progress.
While running a couple of errands, I was wondering why there were so many kids out.
Then I remembered: It's probably sprung break.
