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#neuroqueer

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I've tried to put my most recent thoughts in order and write a little something. As almost always, it's written out of instinct, just letting my fingers do the work, without the need to intellectualize. I'm not sure anymore of what a coming out is and is not, so many I've had during this last year, so take it as you wish. It's intimate, that's for sure. Enjoy.

nerio-fenix.postcard.page/post

Now available on YouTube, an #OnlineAutscape2025 “More Autistic Joy” presentation:

On the 7th of February at 20:00 GMT/UTC, Jorik Mol, “professionally autistic”, presented “Now I wanna think about all the good times – The joys of Breaking the Boundaries”.

Watch now at: youtu.be/88-EGSq_dmg

Slides with clickable read-along links: docs.google.com/presentation/d

“Jorik's first book of 2025 is Breaking the Boundaries, describing his experiences as a lived experience mentor of autistic higher education students. These stories highlight the particular joys of being neuroqueer and finding one's community, gender joy, the joy of art, the joy of hyperfocus and the joy of fighting the good fight.”

I have a work social media persona. My "worksona". It's who I represent as on LinkedIn and also on here.

I also have an authentic social media persona. It's another account on another server under an alias. An anonymous alias.

Why does this discrepancy exist? Because I talk about lived experiences, values, and positions on my second account that are stigmatized by society. Mental health. Neurodivergence. Gender. #FuckTheSystem.

My "worksona" is not me. It's a construct I shaped to maximize my chances by allowing me to harness conditional privilege: mainly that I'm _read_ as a white assumed cisgender, neurotypical, heterosexual, able-bodied man. But it's a mask. It means I'm keenly aware of the discrepancy in privilege that is granted based on how one is perceived.

I've been slowly incorporating more authenticity into my "worksona" but the sad truth is that there's still a wide chasm between who I really am around the people I trust and who I am in a professional context. There is literally only a single person who knows the full me and also knows me in real life. Everyone else gets a filtered version. Why? Stigma. Stigma that's assigned to layers of my identity I have no control over.

This is what privilege is about. Chances are that if your "public persona" aligns closely with your authentic self that you benefit from a whole lot of privilege (or that you're a #neuroqueer rebel; I see you and applaud you). And to the white men in my followers: this is what people talk about when they say you have privilege. The insidious truth is that it's _invisible_ to you because you probably don't know anything else. But there are many people around you who just _pretend_ to look and act like you.

I am one of the people who pretend.

I've come to understand that my main motivation to keep going at the moment is very simple: #spite.

I'm weird. Like really fucking weird. I'm #AuDHD. I'm queer. I'm also #plural (meaning it's not just me in my own fucking head). I'm weird. Like really fucking weird.

And you know what? That's *okay*. It's okay to be weird. Who is even the judge of that? Is there a "weird police"? It's being made illegal in parts of the world to be weird, but by whom? White old men.

Fuck them. Fuck them sideways. Fuck them all the ways. Fuck them. I'm very fucking weird by society's standards *and that is okay*. -Vox

#neurodivergent #neuroqueer #ADHD #actuallyADHD #Autism #autistic #actuallyAutistic #plural #oppression #supremacy @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

I don't know how to develop trust with someone if I don't understand why they do what they do. This is probably why I have such a hard time trusting neurotypical individuals.

The same applies when hurt happens. I need to understand the why behind the hurt to reestablish trust.

The sad truth is that - for whatever reason - many folks are not willing to explain their actions. My assumption: they often don't know themselves why they do what they do, so all you get are bullshit post-hoc rationalizations.

Unleash the fury within you. Rise from the ashes like a phoenix.

They *will* knock us down. And we will defy them by getting up again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Shout as they silence us. Access your rage and defy the odds. Hold your head high and resist. Don't play by their rules. Break them and play dirty.

Let's be real: not all of us are going to make it. But we as a community will make it. They feel emboldened now but they have no idea how much fight there is still left in us. We will prevail.

It's only over when the last of us lose hope. Rest assured that I will scream from the rooftops as long as blood is running through my veins. I got you. This is a promise. And to some it is a threat.

Representation matters. It took me 30 years to realize that I'm queer. To realize that I'm neurodivergent. The only thing I knew was what I saw in the media: white cis-heteronormative neurotypical-coded relationships.

Until I learned about alternative life models the thought never crossed my mind that I could be different.

Sure, some things were hard. Surprisingly hard. And I never really vibed with most of the things my male peers liked. I was often at the fringes of social circles. But surely I'm just quirky!

And now that my enby AuDHD weirdo ass finally feels like *things make sense* all I can really say is: bruh, why the fuck did it take me 30 years to figure this shit out?

The answer? Lack of representation.

Representation matters.

How does a contend life for people like me look like? Fuck if I know. Not like I saw this shit modeled on TV! So DIY it is. But some guardrails here and there would be nice, from time to time.

If you assume that the NT mind has an easier time developing an auto pilot than the ND mind - auto pilot meaning "fast" (shortcut) thinking - then it's no surprise that societal biases are so hard to extinguish.

Our minds indisputably develop in a biased environment. Therefore the foundational model of reality that is being shaped for the NT auto pilot is biased as well. It's not unlike how biases get baked into AI models. Garbage in, garbage out.

The ND inability to hone an auto pilot of a similar complexity as the NT mind therefore becomes an advantage when it comes to notice biases as we are forced to rely on active processing of the information - in the absence of an auto pilot we have to think "slow". Cue our well documented strong sense of justice.

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neuroqueer #adhd #autism #actuallyAutistic #socialJustice @actuallyautistic

Continued thread

Listen wherever you listen to podcasts, or via our website at:

findrc.co/4gkqG9a

P.S. This book is a tiny love letter to my neurodivergent, queer, and other peeps who struggle in career and work because you see the world differently. My mission is to create a world of work that works for us so we can make the undeniable impact only those of us who are wired differently can. 💙

Sara Lobkovich | OKR ExpertYou Are A Strategist: Live Book Preview Reveals a Fresh Take on OKRs & Strategic Leadership — Sara Lobkovich | OKR ExpertGet an exclusive preview of "You Are A Strategist" - Sara Lobkovich's new book on OKRs and strategic thinking. Learn why being strategic isn't about job titles or being the smartest person in the room.

I don't think there could have been a better time for this to land in my feed.

This event had my (free) sign-up at "queer joy," but that became "here take my money" based on Petra Vega's session title:

"Queer as in fuck you: how to joyfully disrupt the status quo"

LGBTQIA+ friends and family needing a little bit of community support and activation -- I'll "see" you there.

findrc.co/queerjoy

#lgbtq #lgbtqia #neuroqueer #queer @lgbtqia